Thursday, September 19, 2013

Infomercial Lobotomies

We are living in a world where people are spending hard earned cash on some weird mat with "massage nodules" on it.  I won't lie.  I saw this infomercial and I laughed so hard at how ridiculous it was... then I stopped.  I know for every person like me laughing at such a stupid idea, there are that many more people who were actually picking up the phone.  DOH!!  Ok people... we need to address a very serious issue.  Smart people buying stupid crap... which then makes a smart person, temporarily stupid, until the inevitable... $5 at next summer's garage sale.

We didn't get the way we got from a glandular problem... let's be honest.  I didn't gain my weight because my great great grandmother had a tendency to be a bit fleshy... I ate doughnuts, candy, pie, fried garbage... oooooh delicious fried garbage.  Anyway, how attractive is it to see a goofy commercial stating that instead of diet and exercise, all I have to do is roll my giant derriere over a bumpy mat and POOF!!  a rocking tush for all to be jealous of?  At what point, did we all get secret lobotomies,which suddenly rendered us dumb, and we begin to believe it!?  My point is this... we have spent so much effort getting ourselves out of shape, yet we still believe that we are to be bikini models after the second day of eating salad and walking some stairs.  We degrade ourselves after we step on the scale and it basically flips us off...  

What are we to do???  Well, for starters, we need to step back up to smart status.  We need to understand that if a bumpy mat, truly did give us a perky, firm bum... why is the world still so bottom heavy?  Let's start questioning the source...  If it worked, everyone would have one.  Period.  AND... it wouldn't be sold from infomercials. (However, I did buy some tins that allow you to make your own taco salad bowls, and well, those just rock.)  Let's take back our brains, and lace up our sneakers.  We know how it all works.  It isn't rocket science... 

Where do we go from here?  We turn of the T.V. for starters.  Nothing really worthwhile ever came from there anyway.  We stop listening to corner peddlers trying to dumb us up with their fast talking... use those sneakers to run away... as fast as you can and don't look back.  Use will power to turn down the free book light you get with your order within the next 10 minutes.  Just say NO!!  and to those that think some goofy powder you sprinkle on  your ice cream will help you lose weight is the most awesome thing ever... yes.  It is called PEPPER... it is dirt cheap and I personally guarantee that the ice cream will quickly lose its lustre.  HA!!

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