Friday, September 27, 2013

Who Knew?

I have been sitting on the bench for a few weeks now.  I am dying to workout, run, really... even walking up the stairs without the muscles in my bum feeling like they are going to explode would be a dream come true. I have a back injury, and to anyone who has ever had a back injury of any kind... yeah, ouch.  I have discovered though, the best place to go when you have back pain, is to Saturday night Church when all the seniors go.  I have NEVER been so doted on, than by elderly Parishoners, who know more about back pain than The Yankees know about baseball.

So, what is a person to do when faced with the inability to exercise, and a box of Peanut Butter Pop Tarts somewhere in the house!?  Well, not focus on the Pop Tarts for starters, but stemming from the fact that I brought them up, probably means I am doing a poor job of not thinking about them.  However, I have been focusing on better nutrition as I can't burn off any crap food that may or may not be injured in the filming of this back injury.  Thus brings me to a Godsend in my pantry.  Shakeology.

Shakeology is a Beachbody shake that they call "the healthiest meal of the day."  I figured now would be the best time to do their 3 day cleanse.  What this is, is 3 shakes per day, only mixed with water and maybe blended with ice and 1/2 cup of fruit if needed.  Believe me.  It is needed.  Along with the shakes, you may have 2 snacks which are a fruit, which I used apples.  You have to consume at least 2 cups of green tea, and dinner is a large leafy green salad with grilled white protein.  Three days.  That's nothing.  No problem.

Day one.  So focused and motivated... get out a scoop of Vegan Tropical Strawberry Shakeology, and drop it into my shaker cup, fill with water and shake.  Not so bad... I can do this.  About an hour later, I ate my apple, then continuing on to Vanilla with water in my shaker cup.  Again, not so bad, but feeling a bit hungry still.  Great time to eat another apple.  DINNER TIME!!!  Never before have I been so hungry for a salad!!!

Day two.  You know what sounds delicious?  Pumpkin pancakes...  but, I guess I shall have a Greenberry Shakeology with a bit of frozen pineapple.  Not quite the same.  Ugh... I don't want a stupid apple.  Salad?  for dinner again???

Day three.  I WANT A BURGER!!!!

Day after... down 4 lbs and a remarkable difference in my tummy.  It is flatter, and not as bloated.  I actually feel pretty good... in hindsight, it wasn't so terrible. hahaha!!  I survived and will probably do it again. Nutrition can definitely be your saving grace for when injured and unable to exercise... but my goodness, I certainly cannot wait to lift some heavy sh** and sweat like a man!!  Happy Friday all, and my all your food choices be healthy and happy choices!!!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Infomercial Lobotomies

We are living in a world where people are spending hard earned cash on some weird mat with "massage nodules" on it.  I won't lie.  I saw this infomercial and I laughed so hard at how ridiculous it was... then I stopped.  I know for every person like me laughing at such a stupid idea, there are that many more people who were actually picking up the phone.  DOH!!  Ok people... we need to address a very serious issue.  Smart people buying stupid crap... which then makes a smart person, temporarily stupid, until the inevitable... $5 at next summer's garage sale.

We didn't get the way we got from a glandular problem... let's be honest.  I didn't gain my weight because my great great grandmother had a tendency to be a bit fleshy... I ate doughnuts, candy, pie, fried garbage... oooooh delicious fried garbage.  Anyway, how attractive is it to see a goofy commercial stating that instead of diet and exercise, all I have to do is roll my giant derriere over a bumpy mat and POOF!!  a rocking tush for all to be jealous of?  At what point, did we all get secret lobotomies,which suddenly rendered us dumb, and we begin to believe it!?  My point is this... we have spent so much effort getting ourselves out of shape, yet we still believe that we are to be bikini models after the second day of eating salad and walking some stairs.  We degrade ourselves after we step on the scale and it basically flips us off...  

What are we to do???  Well, for starters, we need to step back up to smart status.  We need to understand that if a bumpy mat, truly did give us a perky, firm bum... why is the world still so bottom heavy?  Let's start questioning the source...  If it worked, everyone would have one.  Period.  AND... it wouldn't be sold from infomercials. (However, I did buy some tins that allow you to make your own taco salad bowls, and well, those just rock.)  Let's take back our brains, and lace up our sneakers.  We know how it all works.  It isn't rocket science... 

Where do we go from here?  We turn of the T.V. for starters.  Nothing really worthwhile ever came from there anyway.  We stop listening to corner peddlers trying to dumb us up with their fast talking... use those sneakers to run away... as fast as you can and don't look back.  Use will power to turn down the free book light you get with your order within the next 10 minutes.  Just say NO!!  and to those that think some goofy powder you sprinkle on  your ice cream will help you lose weight is the most awesome thing ever... yes.  It is called PEPPER... it is dirt cheap and I personally guarantee that the ice cream will quickly lose its lustre.  HA!!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Why...

I guess I will start by introducing myself.  I am Jamie.  I am 35 years old, and a mom to three boys.  My oldest will be 3 at the end of October, and my twins (yes!! twins) just turned one this past weekend.  :)  I made the decision with my husband, that for our family,  I would quit my full time job, and stay home with the boys.  I love being home with them, but I have found an outlet for not only my physical health, but my mental health as well.

I had a fabulous first pregnancy... I mean FABULOUS!!  :)  I ate myself into a happy stupor.  Don't even get me started on how much pizza I indulged in.  I don't take back a second of it.  However, that kind of unfiltered eat-fest leads to the realization, after the baby is home, that you weren't bloated, you were just fat. HA!  I wasn't losing baby weight, I was losing burrito weight.  Let me tell you, that was the most brutal weight loss EVER!!  I had also been a graduate of losing 80+ pounds not but a few years earlier.  This was way more difficult.  My baby was now 18 months old, and I FINALLY fit into my jeans.  Then... along comes a pregnancy test.

Congratulations!!  It's a BOY!  ... and a BOY!!  I was only 31 weeks along, and I was feeling great!  Apparently my innards didn't agree.  My uterus was starting to rupture, and my emergency surgery, turned into meeting my little guys a little sooner than planned.  There is no feeling like being in the NICU, staring at tiny little people, just covered in wires and probes... and each day is more bad news.  Instead of lapsing into a depression, I decided, I was going to invest in sweat therapy.

I had watched the Insanity infomercial, I can't even tell you how many times, and stared at those before and after pics like I was memorizing them.  I was going to be one of those people!!  Exactly 6 weeks after the babies were born, I did my first Insanity Fit Test.  I blazed through my 60 days and lost EVERY single pound I had gained in pregnancy.  I was on fire!!  There was no stopping me, but better than everything else, I felt AMAZING about myself.  I had never been so proud.  So where does one go from there... ahhhh... HEAVY STUFF!!!!

I am now on my quest to build muscle, and lean out.  I have made a verbal commitment with a friend, that
we will be ready for a bikini competition by next year.  Let me tell you... in a YEAR (!!!!!), I have gained a body I never thought was possible, and still trucking:  I have gained an outlook on life that I thought only cheerleaders had:  I have gained a thirst to help people feel like this, and I don't think I can stop this train.